Pleasure: 6 tips for more fun in sex

Often libido deficiency in women has no primary physical causes – it usually arises in our heads. Sex therapist Angela Diwisch occasionally experiences women in her practice in Bonn, where, for example, contraceptives are a pleasure killer, “but most often are psychological and emotional causes,” she says.

And that’s why – instead of waiting for the launch of a miracle pill – it’s helpful to start looking for the reasons for the “not today, sweetheart!” to go. With these tips you can identify your problems and rekindle your passion Extenze Reviews.

Lustbraem: “I have too much stress”

When we are under pressure, physical factors also make sure that we are not into eroticism: stress activates all of the escape and fighting impulses in us through the sympathetic nervous system, and the body then produces fewer sex hormones.

What helps in this situation is sensual relaxation: Dutch scientists have found that excitement in the female brain is especially possible when we are completely relaxed and without fear. Anything that relaxes you will do your libido well. When you are energized, the senses – and thus the sensuality – often come too short.

Pay close attention to it in the near future: how the sun tickles your skin or how warm the voice of your partner sounds. And give erotic desire opportunity to grow. For example, by using waiting times at the train station or at the doctor’s for an erotic daydream or you prefer to pick up on an erotic novel instead of crime thrillers.

Do not think of sex as a point on the to-do list that needs to be ticked off quickly before the tag issues, but as a source of power and energy for yourself and your relationship. Therapist Angela Diwisch advises: “Get yourself a regular couple’s time when you have peace and are not disturbed, these oases are there to talk, be close and – if both want to – have sex too.”

Lust brakes: “I do not feel well in my body”

“Please do not touch it, and do not look so hard here!” Such thoughts turn the bed into a minefield. A vicious circle: Because one does not feel sexy enough, one avoids intimacy – and thus misses the chance to get the feeling of happiness and a boost for the self-esteem during sex.

To strengthen your relationship with your body and thus promote self-love , therapist Diwisch advises to emphasize your merits: “As a tall woman with curves I will never be an elf-like being – but certainly a fiery full-woman with a seductive smile.” Instead of being embarrassed for supposed problem areas, focus on how strong and wonderful your body is.

Sport is also one of the best ways to increase libido – because it improves our physical well-being, as research by Jacksonville University in Florida shows. In addition, desire is closely related to mood and self-esteem and workouts demonstrably enhance both.

Some sports are particularly suitable: Yoga reduces stress and anxiety , relaxes and helps focus – just what we need for good sex. And: “Belly dancing and pelvic floor exercises can lead to a better sexual perception that favors an orgasm,” explains Angela Diwisch.

Lustbraemse: “I find the sex with my partner not so exciting”

The fact that the passion subsides and the sex rate drops, the most couples find. Often after two to four years, as studies say. And if you do it, you’re more likely to play it safe than a hot number.

The good news: The chances of having exciting sex are far better than at the beginning of your relationship! It may not be tingling with every touch, but: “Being close and confident gives you the opportunity to try things you would not dare to do with a stranger,” says expert Diwisch. “Sex is changing and that gives room for new possibilities.” There is only one thing you should not expect: that your lover suspects your desires and reads your desires away from your eyes.

Tell him clearly what you imagine. If you want him to clear the dishwasher, let him know, right? So let him know that you would like to handcuff in the bedroom or test a new position. A vacation or a short break can be a good opportunity to break out of the familiar patterns and try something different.

Also experiment a bit with your own perception. This exercise by the US sex expert Ian Kerner helps: Enjoy every single moment during sex. For example, say, “He gently touches my thigh,” or “Now he’s caressing my neck.” This makes it possible to be completely in the here and now – and at the same time you become the heroine of your own erotic history.

Lustbraemse: “I no longer desire”

Nothing stirs women like the feeling of being wanted, states US journalist Daniel Bergner in his book The Hidden Lust of Women. That’s why their erotic fantasies often feature men so crazy about them that they want to “take” them on the spot. If women lack this feeling, they cannot let themselves go.

You probably do not really want him packing you without a word and dragging you into the bedroom. They rather long for emotional connection. Not surprisingly, an American study of 70 couples found that sexual satisfaction is greater when their partners are capable of empathetic conversation. Communication can be a real aphrodisiac.

But instead of complaining that he does not carry you on hands and you have to pull every word out of his mouth, therapist Diwisch advises to ask honestly, “How much responsibility do I have for our common sexuality? Am I only the ‘recipient’? “Experts know: If you act according to the “as if” principle, as if you were already in a certain mood, then the desired thing often occurs.

So behave like a desirable woman who wears suspenders, puts on red lipstick and gets herself a new, sensual perfume, then he will probably perceive you as well and have no objection to carrying you off to the Italian and afterwards (even more beautiful) to spoil French.

Lustbremse: “When I’m having sex with my partner, I do not come that often”

With your vibrator, orgasm is a breeze – but rarely reachable in bed with your loved one? If you are always afraid that being together might not be successful, you may prefer to avoid having sex with your partner.

“While many women feel like finding couple sexuality but sometimes exhausting, when I question it, it often turns out that it is difficult for them to maintain the excitement and orgasm while having sex with their partner,” says Diwisch. Why is that? “Sometimes the way to peak in masturbation is incompatible with intercourse,” explains the expert. “If you’re used to having fun with a vibrator, for example, and you have no other way to maintain and increase the arousal, a man can hardly satisfy you.” A solution would be to expand his arousal, “advises expert Diwisch,

Try different touches like stroking, massaging, touching, rubbing, pulling or squeezing – just anything that feels good. Maybe you discover quite unknown possibilities. This is how you train yourself to respond to new stimuli and guide your partner better, how and where to love you.

Lustbraemse: “My partner does not want sex – how can I increase his lust?”

That’s not so unusual! “Even men can suffer from libido disorders,” says expert Angela Diwisch. A study by the University of Hamburg with 10,000 men showed: The 18- and 30-year-olds had sex about 20 times a month 30 years ago, today only four to ten times.

Find out what causes his withdrawal: stress, strife, insecurity? However, if he is just tired and out of humor, you also tell him not to feel like it. But keep in mind a statement by psychotherapist Esther Perel: “While mood affects the desire for sex in men as well as women, men are more likely to try to improve their mood with sex.”

The most likely to lure him out of the reserve, if you give him the feeling not to have to deliver as in a porn, but lovingly seduce him. Give him the pleasure of an intense foreplay and the knowledge to be desired. And maybe you can then remind him with a new position, how much fun he makes sex with you. Extra tip: seduce him in the morning – after sleep his testosterone level is highest.